whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
