Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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