My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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