I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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