she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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