are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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