can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
