awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
