That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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