i wish there were pregnant emoticons
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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