Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I have already put on my inside pants.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
