marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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