All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
