Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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