your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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