East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
