I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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