when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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