You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize