Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
