I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Terrible idea I love it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
