yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
