I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
