I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
