Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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