I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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