That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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