just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
