he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
