they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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