butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
