Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
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Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
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i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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