omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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