He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
