I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This baby is an asshole
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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