Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
