so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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