"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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