you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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