i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
