you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
