You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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