Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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