Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
