make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
