So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
