I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I got inside last night via doggy door
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
