hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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