We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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