I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
