i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
