I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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