im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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