are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
