I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
