youre lurking in front of me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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