I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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