You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize