didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
