google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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