I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
