Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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