the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
A+ Viking dick
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